More often than not, we're so occupied thinking what others approve of that we end up doubting ourselves. Today, I'm going to share an incident which happened with me during my undergrad days and it made me wonder if I'm making a mistake listening to myself.
At KMC, I was a member of the Placement Cell since the first year. But, in the second year, things started becoming a little difficult to manage. As a placecommer, you often have to miss classes and stay late in college for placement drives. But, I was aiming to score better in the exams that semester and also taking coaching classes for CAT. So, I wasn't comfortable missing classes or staying up late.
That's when I had to take this call - "Should I leave the cell in between?" I was half-way through the year. It meant that I might not get even a single CV point for what I did as a part of the Placecom in the second year.
When it got too overburdened, I decided to leave the cell. I reached out to my seniors to inform them of the same and upon hearing this, they told me what a big mistake I was making.
They shared from experience how important Placecom was and how much value it could add to my CV. Besides, they asked me how I am going to manage things in life if I can't manage a situation as simple as this.
To be honest, I had a tough time taking that decision. Their words made me wonder if I was making a mistake listening to myself. And even though they had accepted my decision to leave, I felt scared of failing and proving them right.
I don't know what would have happened had I not cleared CAT in the first attempt - whether their words would have troubled me again or not, but I just want to say that in either case, whether I would have cleared CAT or not, their opinions should not have had such an impact on me.
We hear opinions and we try to learn from them - to make the best decisions for ourselves. But, at any point, if those opinions are overpowering your capacity to think on your own, you need to take a step back.
Self-doubt can creep in at various points in your life, but you need to remember that you're not answerable to the entire world. It's okay to take the wrong calls! As long as the onus of those calls is on you.
You take decisions basis your best judgement. In that process, you might seek opinions from other people. But, you're not obliged to follow them blindly.
I'd like to quote an example of a blog member I came across - a brilliant girl! In the beginning of her preparation, she asked me how many mocks should she take for CAT, I shared a post with her.
The post clearly mentioned that the mocks should be taken at a gap, else you'll end up feeling demotivated. That girl kept taking mocks every week from the very beginning (not recommended as per the post).
Every time she messaged me to share her mock scores, I told her that she shouldn't be taking mocks so frequently. She didn't revolt, she didn't argue, but she didn't listen to me as well.
The result? She improved her scores! She has come a long way from where she started and I'm so proud of her! I just wish I could be that bold during my undergrad days.
I mean just think about it - she did what she thought was the best for her - she listened to my opinion, respected it enough to not tell me that she thinks it is stupid, but eventually did what she thought was the best for her.
Even if she would have failed at improving her mock scores, I'm sure she wouldn't have regretted not listening to me. That's a sign of self-confidence! She believed in herself. She knew what's best for her!
I wrote this post because I feel there's a need to say this - don't let self-doubt creep in! And the easiest way to do that is by taking risks. Take some decisions after asking for opinions but don't feel obliged to answer to those who offer opinions.
See if you feel a need to justify yourself or your decisions to other people all the time. And if yes, don't do it for once. See what happens.
Learn to say no when you actually feel like saying no. Often we end up doing things that we definitely don't want to do just to avoid looking bad. Say no! See what happens.
You will start respecting yourself more. You will start respecting your decisions more!
Self-doubt can be dangerous. It can eat you up from inside and make you feel worthless. So, before you get deep into that trap, think of that girl, a strong blog member we all should learn a great deal from. Remember how she took that decision.
She listened to others, respected their opinions but did what she thought was the best for her! And didn't even feel the need to justify her decisions because truly she doesn't have to. You don't have to either!